What does infertility feel like?


I'm a visual person and I really like this image, they say a picture speaks a thousand words, but what does infertility feel like?


Infertility looks and feels different to each individual person or couple. It can feel like everyone around you is getting pregnant or having a baby, even if that may not be the case. It can be a range of different emotions from fear to frustration. It can feel disappointing, isolating or sad and in today’s family centred society there is a constant reminder of the family you can’t have. To be a mother remains the cultural norm and motherhood is often seen as the greatest of all life’s achievements.


For me infertility was sometimes painful, sad, I blamed myself and I often felt invisible or less of a person. Some occasions were difficult, at parties, baby showers or gatherings I often felt lonely and I didn’t always no what to say when there were big groups of parents or mums talking about their children. I would always try to think of the bigger picture, you need to stay for your friends because you love them and it’s important, or stay as they would be upset if you left. Just stay for an hour or so, you can do it, be strong, push those feelings of sadness, exclusion and isolation to the back of your mind, you can get chocolate on the drive home. For me the sadness was not just of a life without children, but also the loss of a future that I had wanted since I met my second husband.


All I can say is that time is a great healer and whilst the feelings of isolation and sadness never go away, most of the time they don’t take over my life anymore. I decided that even though this was not the journey I had planned over time I learnt that the future is like a branch of a tree, with many different little branches or paths leading off it that can lead to different things in life. After my own fertility journey ended I began new challenges that I never thought I would have the courage to do such as running the London marathon and working independently helping and supporting others to understand their own fertility.



How does infertility make you feel?....

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